I like this guy. 

so beautiful……

…..WHY in the 900 years I was a stripper did nobody tell me I have a hairy ass? …..no… it took a Puerto Rican girl in prison who I wrongly assumed was just being a bitch. I would tell a bitch if she had a hairy ass and didn’t know it… you can’t see your fucking ass… and god forbid a secret mustache… I just told my little sister the other day that she has a secret mustache ….. because I love her!!!

AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

metalonmetalblog:

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sandrocastelli.com

……ya know…… watching fat housewives getting eaten out by chihuahuas doesn’t really go with old ass reruns of Seinfeld.

I wonder if this means my fluoride show will give me breast cancer. Too late on the apathy.

….so today I was being a pregnant camwhore and some dude tipped me $20 to rub oil on my tits. I couldn’t find my good cocoa oil that I usually put on my big ass prego belly, so I put on some Bell Biv Devoe and rubbed my tits down with fluoride. I wanted to tell the pervs sooooooo bad, but I had to keep it to myself. Because I don’t think they would think it’s as funny as I do. I wonder how much weird shit I can get away with…… maybe I’ll start shoving plastic insects in my pussy again…..